For those unfamiliar with the phrase “being turned,” you obviously have not worked closely with the Central Intelligence Agency – or watched a lot of the TV show Homeland like I have. So we all are on the same page, to be turned means you’ve changed sides or your belief structure.
Now, back to me. I’ve been turned as it relates to income inequality. All this recent talk about how the rich have gotten richer while middle class and poor have stayed the same or fallen a rung or two on the income ladder has made me think. How can we as a compassionate society allow this to happen? Something needs to be done.
That is why I am proposing the creation of a new federal initiative to right this wrong. A new program will be established; its primary focus will be to finance The Fund for Equality. Monies collected by The Fund for Equality will be dispersed to those Americans living below a certain income level – to be determined – in an effort to bring us all more into line with each other.
How will The Fund for Equality obtain its money? Easy, it’ll be taken from those who have more. More than what you might ask? Well, I think more than $125,000 per year in income would be reasonable. If an individual makes more than $125,000 per year, anything above that is confiscated and put into The Fund for Equality.
Some people of means don’t receive a salary, so we’ll need to address that as well. How about if no one can have assets totaling more than $2.5 million? Where did I get that number? Well, five percent of $2.5 million is $125,000. Five percent is a decent return, so we’ll let them have that, and if there’s any of the $125,000 left at the end of the year, well, it goes into The Fund for Equality.
Oh, and because I don’t like to be pushy, this plan will only apply to those who’ve shown a desire to take from one group to give to others. Those who’ve been major supporters of significant tax increases, and especially those who’ve shown a predilection toward income redistribution. They’ll be more than happy to participate, I’m sure.
I don’t want to be accused of being exclusionary, so if you don’t fall into the above category, but still want to participate, more power to you.
Now, where do we start? Well, I’m a strong believer in leading by example, so let’s look to our elected leaders first.
President Obama makes an annual salary of $400,000 per year. Sorry, but that’s way too much under America’s “new system.” The Fund for Equality will take $275,000 of that for those who are less fortunate. And it’s estimated that Mr. Obama’s net worth is in the $11.2 million range, so the fund will benefit from an extra $8.7 million from him as well. Thanks, Mr. Prez.
U.S. Representative Nancy Pelosi’s been pretty vocal in her support of tax increases and income redistribution; let’s take a look at her finances. As the House Minority Leader, Ms. Pelosi makes $193,400 per year. She’ll now give $68,400 to The Fund for Equality annually. But that’s not where she’ll be the most generous. Ms. Pelosi’s net worth – thanks to RollCall.com’s “50 Richest Members of Congress” tally – is $24.45 million. She’ll be handing over a lump sum of $21.95 million to make America a better, and fairer, place for all. Thanks, Nancy!
Hmmm, who next? How about U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein? As a senator, she only makes $174,000 per year, so on an annual basis she can only provide $49,000 to the fund. But, she’ll be pretty giving with her lump sum payment. Senator Feinstein’s net worth is $41.67 million! Thanks, Diane, for your $39.17 million contribution to help us have-nots.
Considering both Representative Pelosi and Senator Feinstein are from California, let’s just stay in-state and look to Hollywood for some help funding The Fund for Equality.
Eva Longoria, star of movies and TV, is a strong supporter of President Obama and his agenda, even co-chairing his last inauguration. I’m sure this is a project she’d be more than happy to help with.
Eva’s net worth is estimated at $35 million. Which means she’ll graciously provide $32.5 million to the cause, in addition to everything she makes on her TV shows, movies, advertising jobs, etc., over and above $125,000 per year. I’m more than sure that will give her a warm and fuzzy feeling all year long.
Just imagine the dollars that will be rolling in from all those Hollywood elites. Tons of money in the entertainment industry means lots of money for the less fortunate under my plan.
And, of course, all of these individuals will work just as hard as they did before to ensure they’re giving as much as possible each and every year going forward to The Fund for Equality.
We’re not done yet, though. I’ve saved the most generous contributor for last. Let’s give it up for Warren Buffet, everyone. Warren’s a big supporter of democratic initiatives and a strong believer in redistributing wealth. So, I’m sure he’ll be all on board with handing over his $58.25 billion – after he keeps his allotted $2.5 million, of course. Now, an amount that large will go a long way to making us all a little more equal.
Look at how much can be done when we give those who so strongly believe in higher taxes and income redistribution the opportunity to put their money where their mouth is.
The givers will feel good about getting rid of all that extra cash and helping to make a difference, while the rest of us will have a little more so that we won’t feel quite so inferior.
A winning proposition all the way around.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, in anticipation of my upcoming windfall from The Fund for Equality, I’ve got some shopping to do.
image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net